Friday, March 16, 2012

Laymen vs Research Scholars - 3

       I talked about the common fate of research scholars. But let me now turn towards the special fate of female research scholars. Like I wrote in  "Second citizen or nobody", and as we all know, women are not supposed even to study. Well, that was an extreme statement. Still. Girls aren't encouraged to study as boys are. If at all they are allowed to study, they have to be allowed in the first place.

        But most of the times girls always top in classes in schools. If a girl tops people accuse her of mugging up! She can't study, if she studies at all, she should not perform well. If she performs well and beats almost everybody she, has some problem. Then she'll be called a nerd and abnormal person. Well this is by classmates. What about your parents and teachers? They definitely encourage these girls. And, girls always top ANY exam they write. And everybody takes pride in that. Upto a certain stage only.
        And this limit is determined by the socially prejudiced age called "wedding age when she is still tender". She should take up the engineering or medical course or the masters, but all the encouragement stops there. For pure science/arts people they should "settle down" (at the bottom) once they have finished their masters, for the professional course people, it is even worse. They don't even get to study a masters most of the time, but "settle" for a job. Then why this hype about professional courses di?

       Let me come back to the research field. So with all the prejudices, if a girl and that too a very smart girl who has topped almost everywhere she has studied, wants to go for any sort of higher studies, it is a crime! because she is refusing to follow any norms set by the "you know people". "How can somebody not bow to us? They ought to be worms like us, because we never bothered to strive to come out of our dirty holes." They should "SETTLE". Because that is what we, the non-sense society has decided.

        I so hate the word "SETTLE". Why the hell is every(stupid)body so insistent upon settling down? And hey! Settling down means you lose your craving for life. It is a pathetic situation to have nothing to do in your life than to do the daily routine, without any change. Damn the crap settling. You don't gain anything out of it.

      The worst thing is that many people associate (actually most people; ofcourse non-sense people) marriage with settling! How on earth can it be a settling business? Probably it is a business; of trading people by "settling" the amount of dowry given, after which both sides will have to "settle" issues over dowries and so on. If this is not the case, do you think that bribing a firm to get a highly paid job, to get a "settled" life is a good thing? Have you atleast live 50 years to get fed up of your life to "SETTLE DOWN"?

      See? It is "SETTLE DOWN". You never settle up. That implies once you are in the hyped state of blissful settlement, you go "DOWN". Not UP. And who told you that marriage is a bliss? In most of the cases, you get married just after you have passed a course, you don't have a solid job to finance your fantasies like bangla-gaadi or sone-chandi,you have one more person to take care of, as if taking care of yourself is very trivial, and you struggle and somehow "settle".

      What do you achieve after this settling down? Are you living the life you envisaged for yourself as a kid? Seriously; as a small kid, you always have the truest ambition in your heart,and mostly as you grow up, you let others decide your course of life. Are you living your ambition? Don't you for atleast a second wish to be what you wanted to be and yet you couldn't because you let others tread your dignity, in the name of choosing the best for you. Don't YOU know what is best for you?

      Like I said, it is like that unfitting dress which you are forced to wear. It may seem to be a beautiful dress, but that doesn't enhance your beauty or make you special if you wear it. And you can't take this dress once you wear it, for fear of displeasing many people, who had to wear similar unfitting dresses and force it upon their predecessors to take revenge, instead of trying to change the bad customs.

     And they sell it under the name,  "You can't fly if you don't wear it; you can't swim if you don't wear it; You will never get to know happiness if you don't wear it." And blah blah blah..... Who gains? Nobody. Do you need that dress to be blissful? Do you need that to fly in the open sky of your dreams? Do you need that to swim, when it will drag you along the current instead of enabling you to swim against the current? Do you really need to be a part of the herd, just for the sake of being part of something for fear of being isolated?

      I'll explain these things in explicit terms. The whole of the above paragraph is about people who think that a woman should not be an independent being, but always be in the "UNDER WORLD", even if she is smart. She should get married to some "10th grade and kushti fellow with a giant ego" and go to the job that her so called "SOCIETY" decides for her. What the hell?

Who are you to decide my life? May I ask you something?

1) Did you design my gene pool? NO.
2) Did a boy come and donate his brain to me while I was studying? NO.
3) Did a boy write the exams which I wrote and topped? NO.
4) Did a boy see what I saw in my dreams, both waking and sleeping? NO.
5) Did any boy ever do anything significant in my growth? NO.


   And what is this thing about  completion, that man completes a woman and stuff? How can anybody ever complete other people? Nobody other than you know what makes you. Trust me. It is not merely a man. You all are composites. A single person, other than yourself can't play any significant role in your life. Its like making a tea. You cannot just eat tea leaves and have a good tea time! Actually it sucks. TO have a good tea, you need, milk, you need sugar, you need fire, to heat all these and mix them properly! And the composite is called a good tea.

        Then how can you talk about MARRIAGE helping you to fly or swim or run or whatever, when there are lots of other things in your life? Like doing something which makes you a memorable person among the masses. Why don't you think about doing things on your own, instead of sitting around and hoping that your prince charming will come and salvage you? How about being a princesses precise and sharp that somebody has to strive hard to become a prince worthy so that he can even dare to look at you? Why does a girl have to lower your standards to acquire a husband or a lover? HUH?



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