Monday, March 28, 2011


I don't know whether it will seem awkward to write my love story on my blog at this point of time or whether it will drive away my possible suitors in future, for it is the story of a broken love. So broken that I couldn't help sharing it with others. It may  or may not seem pathetic, but there were some good parts in it.

Well this is the story of two young people who have never met each other directly except once in their lives till now. It is highly improbable that they will meet again in their lives. Then how come this love story happened? It happened because there is gmail, orkut, bsnl and vodafone. This story proves that two people don't have to be physically present in each other's lives to be friends and also that love will never happen over cyberspace/electronic space no matter how close you were over there, I mean mentally close; because you will never know whether the other person was lying to you or not. I'm not going to bore you with my findings, I'll go to the story directly.

I don't know why on earth I started chatting with you, u were a friend of my friend and I knew somehow that u existed and where u studied. I found u on Orkut and started chatting with u 9still I don't know why I committed that foolishness). I would never have proceeded with the chatting had u not responded to it. You too started chatting with me. The first thing u told me (as I remember now) was about your love and jealousy of numbers. Though u r a Physics student u love Maths a lot. Then it went on for quite sometime. On that day I was happy that I had got a new friend.

This was in May 2009. There after we used to meet every afternoon on gmail chat, for it was my project time and ur course work was sort of over and both of us sort of had free time. I still remember that I used to chat with u till 5 or 6 in the evening when my friend had to call me and take me to hostel (which was the reverse of what I had to do with him before I started my chatship with you).

We used to chat about every thing under the sun, every creative thing, films,blogs,books, writing, language and I don't know what else. One thing which we both shared was passion for reading and writing. [I remember u telling how "The selfish gene" had changed ur thoughts after reading it. You used to encourage me to write blogs and soon after becoming friends, u started following my blogs, the crazy part is that he became a follower of my Malayalam blog! How can a person who doesn't know Malayalam be its follower? TO return the favour I followed ur blog in ur mother tounge. It was a good period for me, one of the most creative ones, as far as writing is concerned. When I wrote my experience about a trip I had when I was 14,u told me to say hello to that little girl.

    Then one day I asked ur phone number,for typing ocassionally became boring. You could have denied, but you gave it to me. After chatting all afternoon, we started sending good night messages to each other every night. Not one not two, atleast ten a day. I used to call it, "continuation of communication". The first sms I sent you was a forwarded sms about application for the post of friendship giving its terms, and you replied (to my surprise) that you were willing to take up the job! I had the habit of giving cks to all my dear friends (to dear friends only) and when u understood the meaning of that k, u started making new ks! One example is as follows:
1) Gn sd ck
2) gntoutook

Though the dialogue is not exactly same as it was (I don't have the reference because I deleted all ur sms which added up to some 1000 after we had a fight), 4) is exactly what u said.

This series of ks went on for many many days which turned into weeks, during which u had changed ur institute. U didn't have a new number after changing the insti and since ur phone was on roaming, u called me from ur Father's mobile on the day u arrived at the new insti. Ue told me about the joureny, how u were fined for smoking on the train (yes u happened to be an excessive smoker, I don't know ur status now, probably u might have quit smoking, like u shaved after ur new gf prompted u). U used to update everything u used to do in the insti. When u got a new sim, u smsed me, "Guess who?"

 When I got selected for my PhD, (that was before u changed ur insti) I had to finish my project faster and one day after almost two trials of solving a 13 page derivation, I broke up. Then u told me "you have to finish this". I forgot. On the day on which I got my call for PhD, u told me "I've never heard a happier news in my life!" U seemed to be genuinely happy.

By this time we had started to talk over the phone too, the duration spanning for hours. Though I couldn't make out anything which u used to say at first, I slowly got adapted to ur fast speech. [But I was the fool who always used to call u. You never called me.]

One day suddenly, I was very sad, very very sad. The reason being this: I had a feeling that I had started to like u more. Not just as a friend. But as something more. You was like an angel for me(even though now you are like a demon). I found myself struggling to keep myself from starting to love you. That was the day when I first cried to you over the phone, lying to him that I had a lot of work to finish and I was unable to do that.


The only fault I did was to love you or tell you that I loved you.[Had I kept quiet I would never have lost one of my good friends.] Not only because it made us lose that "great something between us" (as he called it) but it made me deeply sad, to the point that I started thinking about hurting myself.

This much for now. Rest will come later.

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