Dropped dreams....

Not another set of dropped dreams,

Not another set of despair,

Not another set of endless places, 

With no light in near sight....

Dreams dreamt, actions done, 

There was a cheerful time, 

When everything went, 

Seemingly smooth, in a flow,

Until came the blow, the deliberate one....

So hard, so painful, so selfish,

And so misconstrued... 

For personal gains and benefits, 

For their fifteen minutes of fame, 

Out of their ignorance and callousness...

So against the thirst for knowledge....

So many believers to follow, 

So many to oppose the light of knowledge,  

So many to fall for the dark temptations 

Offered by the opposing ones....

Many a word said, many an action done, 

The opposing ones are trying to blow out the light;

A light so dearly lit, a flame so delicate 

Yet warm and enlightening. 

The devious ones called it dangerous, 

Misled the ignorant to more and more darkness 

Far away from the light of knowledge, 

To enslave them and exploit....

The dream light is wavering, will the flame go out?

Or will it survive and become a blazing Sun?

Hands tried to protect it, kept faith that it will be there,

What if hands are withdrawn? Won't the devious ones win 

In putting out the light?

It cannot be put out, at any rate, many might be running ahead

With brighter flames, finding new knowledge.

But who knows what one is going to find, no matter how 

Feeble the flame is? 

Or what it will throw light upon? 

Fallen in the darkest trench, the heart aches, 

Thinking that another dream will be dropped,

If dreams are to be dropped, why dream?

Why bear pain, why believe against all odds?

Because, it is harder to live with the guilt of not trying, 

Harder to regret having not tried and given up,

Harder to let go of earnest dreams and aspirations, 

Harder than being crucified with false allegations,

Harder than giving up the battle for knowledge to the treacherous....

It is hard not to dream....

Because, dreams are meant to be dreamt, 

Even in the darkest hour, in the farthest corners of the heart, 

There will always be that voice "atleast you tried your best",

"You gave your best, and stood your ground

No matter how hard it was, you still dreamt that dream"....

May dreams come true and aspirations realities.... 

Back from love...

So cheer up and pull yourself back,
It is not the world's end;
You get knocked off,
But then stand up again.

If you get knocked off again,
Stand up, with your head held high,
There's nothing wrong with a fall,
That's how you learn.

But do learn and come back up,
'Coz love is not life itself,
But just a part of it.

There are things to learn
And places to go and see,
Things to do and cherish,
Moments to capture and treasure.

If you don't come out of your shell,
How will you; ever fulfill those dreams?
Dreamt long ago and kept locked
Inside the depths of your heart.

Time to wake up from that sad slumber,
You may have to lumber,
But you will find yourself,
Again in a new light. :)

Secret hippie guy

Hey secret little hippie guy,
I love the colour of your eyes;
And I love your hair style
The way you put on that smile.

I feel like dancing to a happy tune,
Thinking of the song that you sang at noon;
Your voice is so heavenly,
That I listen to crazily.

Will you give me an autograph?
I want to take your photograph.
I've got a secret little crush,
On you but I will not rush.

I feel like listening to your song,
So sweet all day along;
Hey cute secret hippie guy,
I can't stop smiling, don't know why! :)

My share of loneliness

I want my share of loneliness,

Away from all the madding crowd,

A moment of silence

When I don't have to answer phone calls,

Ringing incessantly leaving me 

No room for thought.

I want my share of loneliness 

When people don't tell me 

"Do this, do that, don't do" and all;

And expect me to fit the bill, 

A bill to fit in and pretend that I belong.

I want my share of loneliness,

When I am left alone, 

For myself, be it a life 

Happy or sad, but mine only.

When people do not expect me

To be a dutiful person, so dutiful 

That they expect me to bear everything 

Silently despite their hurtful words or actions.

I want my big share of loneliness

Which was endowed upon me, 

By envious, jealous or just cruel 

People who used to remind me 

"You are none of us, you don't belong".

It hurt back then, but as time went, 

Loneliness became my biggest companion, 

That loneliness which protected me 

From people who would judge me,

And spit fire upon me.

I really want my loneliness back,

The pristine loneliness when 

I could live my life my way, 

Choosing what I liked, discarding the rest.

I miss my great loneliness, 

Eventhough it would pull me to depths 

Of dearth and despair, at times.

Still there was a goal, lonesome 

But satisfying, challenging 

But interesting, silent yet eloquent, 

Leading me up that path to what I was seeking.

Where is it now? Oh! Have I lost perspective?

I seek that silence in my heart,

But all I can hear are hollow words,

Ringing in my ears, "you are selfish", 

"You are cruel", "you are worthless", 

"You are not welcome", "get out",

"You are arrogant", "you are heartless",

"You ruin our lives", "you ruin our peace",

"You should do this", "you shouldn't do that",

"You shouldn't let anybody down", 

"Fit the bill 'cause you are a female",

"You have no right to choose a life of yours",

"You have no right to pursue your dreams",

"'Cause so much is socially expected out of you",

"Like how you dress, how you talk, how to "endure"",

"Without complaints", "you can't stand up and speak",

"For yourself 'cause you are a woman", "your life doesn't matter",

"'Cause you are a woman", "you should toil for others", 

"To "take care of everybody"", "you have no right to take care",

"Of yourself 'cause you happen to be a woman", "you should be",

"Selfless and giving and should close your eyes and ears",

"To the abuses towards you and the mistakes a man commits",

"'Cause you happen to be a woman and men cannot change",

"You can't live alone because "you have to be taken care of"", 

"Your education does not matter, you are a slave", 

"Your opinion does not matter, 'cause I am the alpha",

"You can never be smarter than me, 'cause you are a woman",

"I will shower abuses on you and tarnish your name if you"

"Are appreciated, 'cause you are a woman and smarter than me";

And so on goes those hollow words and actions, 

Which keep ringing in my head. 

I am fed up;

Fed up of everything, every single thing expected 

Out of me and imposed on me.

I simply do not want to bear anymore

Because it seems I have lost myself, 

And my dreams. Where is that person

Who always would keep me company?

I can't find herself in a mirror, 

My face looks unfamiliar,

My thoughts nonexistent.

Have I lost myself among 

All those peripheries?

I want to ask all those hollow voices;

"Why can't you just leave me alone?

Am I ruining your peace of mind? 

Then why can't you leave me in peace?"

I need silence and 

My big fat share of loneliness,

To pour these voices and useless

Mundane "problems" of "life"

Down the drain and go on, 

Find me again, to live my life,

ALONE!

The city of my solitary life.

The city of my solitary life,

I came here long ago;

With shining eyes and dreams...

You gave me aims and directions;

Taught me where to go. 

So much was your power

That I came back to you...

With dreams to be fulfilled

And life to be made. 

You taught me many things;

Solitary though my life was, 

You always kept company.

I discovered you every day;

Through the sprawling traffic;

Through the signal where I live;

Through the scorching heat of summer days;

Through the sparse rains of some years;

Through those surprise showers you have 

Been blessed with of late....

Through the ghee dripping sweets 

Of the nearby restaurant often frequented...

Through the magnificent gift of Bay of Bengal;

Those wonderful seas with the beautiful shores....

I will miss those shores and breezes,

Which run through my home here in the afternoons.

And many more things I will cherish;

Big ad small, happy and sad...

Where not have I started my journeys to?

All my long journeys started from you...

Many a place I have been to...

Many a thing I have seen....

To return to you like I go home...

Only to realise that you have become my second home

In these five solitary years....

Solitary though it seems to me, 

You surrounded me with people;

Teaching me many things,

Making me strong when I cried, 

Making me struggle when I needed,

Making me happy when I least expected,

Taking part in my life's journey...

Bitter sweet yet unforgettable....

Thank you dear city,

For making me a part of you,

At least for a small time...

People come here with dreams

And become a part of you.

Those who cannot live in you 

And leave you with memories,

Have them preserved in their hearts....

It's time for me to leave you too...
It's inevitable...

Thank you dear city for everything.

You and my solitary years discovering myself,

Will always be remembered.....

You are not only mine, 

You are always ours....

Namma Chennai. :) 

The restaurant at night...

There sits a restaurant by the main road,
Inconspicuous, at the beginning of a small lane,
Drowned in the din of the bustling city by the day,
Only to be remembered by the regular customers
Including the other restaurant workers probably...

**************************************************************

Late at night, after business hours,
When the traffic dwindles and the people
Have taken shelters from the busy day's
Tiring schedules and are falling asleep,
With the shutters half closed, this restaurant
Catches your attention......

With the black tiled floor with white boarders,
Neatly swept and moped, with steel rimmed
Chairs and tables wiped clean and shining,
Chairs kept upturned on the tables, 
Glistening in tube light; the workers,
In casual clothes, refreshed after a shower, 
Prepare to sleep after a long day's work.

Some just lying on the now clean floor,
Chatting with one another, or watching
A video or a song, on a mobile network....
Or looking at the empty road sitting on the
Facade talking.....
Or sometimes just lying alone contemplating....

You can't help wonder if,
It is about a distant home,
Parents, wife and/or children,
Who may be waiting for his next visit home....

And can't help ask in your mind,
"Is it about your life as a worker
In a small restaurant, in a big city,
That you think oh dear hotel worker?
What are your dreams and aspirations?
What are your realities?"

Of true love....

It hurts every time when heart is broken,
Hurts every time when my love is not accepted.
People talk about true love and its greatness;
But where is the "truth" I wonder.

Because when a man loves "truly" it is "true",
It is great, transcends beyond time, and is hailed.
When a woman loves a man "truly" it is wrong,
It shouldn't be because the one who loves can't accept it.

A man's "love" has to be accepted, whether it is for
The body or the soul; a woman's love cannot be,
Because it is a woman's love;
Because she may not be beautiful or doesn't fit
The standards of beauty, or because the  man thinks
She is too common a person to have any rights to be loved back.

The man's "love" has to be accepted, because it will "protect"
And worthy all throughout the life.
Woman's love can't protect, doesn't count as worthy,
Doesn't have any value. Does it?
She should have no choices, of her own, rather than
To wait in vain to be loved back, to endure without question,
Or demands, for the so called man who "loves" her,
While he may be busy sharing "true love" with as many
People as he pleases.

She shouldn't demand to be loved,
She shouldn't tell frankly how much she loves,
But only hide every fiery tear and drink it,
And accept that she has no rights to wish,
To give and take true love, from some man someday
When he comes if he pleases and finds her measurements apt.

The man can try hard, and preach "love the ones who love you",
Because he wants to "win" the "object" of his love and keep
Her as a prisoner all throughout her life;
(This woman who is the "object of his "true" love" is supposed
To be content with her domestic prison because he earns
And can't have any identity on her own, because he is enough
For the two of them.)

If the woman tries hard, believes in love, the world laughs at her,
Makes remarks, considers her motives bad, even if there isn't one.
The woman herself is rejected, treated badly with words and actions,
Only because she loved, made the effort to keep it alive and made
The effort to admit it despite knowing the consequences.
(Nobody gives points for these.  But criticises her for loving somebody,
Including the one she loves.)
Her only fault was to love and wish to be loved back.

When a woman loves and wishes to be loved back,
Everybody gives her lessons about the value of sacrifices
And that people should not expect.
But when a man loves and expects to be loved back,
As if it is his birthright, and hurts mentally and physically,
If a woman refuses, why doesn't anybody teach him,
The value of sacrifices and the need to learn to let go?
Is letting go only meant for women?
Can't men let go of their "love" (or ego)?
Do only women have to be "selfless" and let go of everything?
(Ya and be princessy rather than be obstinate according to others?)

Why is labelled bad, even if she has gone to the extremes of pain
And endured everything silently, but still has faith in love?
Why is her actions questioned, and only her actions and not the man's,
Who may actually take revenge on a refusing woman by all means?
Why is it so unfair and biased?
Why can't a woman make a choice about her love?
Why can't the one who she loves accept it and acknowledge it,
Rather than hurting her by words and actions?

"True love" seems to be biased. So unfair.
Better not to love with all your heart,
It may be even better to just pretend and use.
It may just be even better to use and throw away,
Mercilessly; because when a woman believes in love,
Keeps it safe, makes efforts and has to take all the pain
And taunts and has to go through whatever battles, just because
She is a woman, it is simply unfair.
If love is true, I cannot be denied my choices be it love or
Anything, just because I am a woman.......