Of love, romance, weddings and break ups - Part II

      A main reason for break ups of marriages is the end of love. It is seen in many cases that marriage becomes "the end" of love. Atleast some people would've complained that there was too much love before marriage but there is none at all after it. To some extend this is true. Just remember all those unmarried love birds around you whose romance was so public (before the social media age, live and during the social media age, live + photo action!!) to the extend that those around them had to live with their eyes closed or turned away in some other direction. Years later you hear that these people broke up for lack of love/romance!!! Now you are forced to think. Where did all those love/romance go?!! Only you can't fathom the reason for the break up (even God can't) !!

        Who is the culprit here? Is it age or the passage of time or is it the mentality? Or is it that that people start taking their spouses for granted after marriage? That expressions of love not even as a tiny gesture is not needed now that they have got "united" in marriage (only to be "untied" later)? If you think so then you are wrong. No expression of love in words or gestures is as bad as those pre-wedding over indulgence in expressions of love! Probably you were crazy teen/tweenagers when you were romancing and then all of them mattered. And you would have thoroughly enjoyed giving and taking so much affection. Then why do you stop giving and taking it after marriage? Yes, after marriage you may become unprecedentedly "responsible" (like before marriage your mother used to cook for you, now you and you have no idea as to how to make food for yourself; how are you even supposed to feed someone else? Obviously the patriarchal society has made sure that your loving husband can't even (literally) feed you no matter what raw materials he brings home with what he earns!!! Or that earlier everything used to appear on demand now you actually have to go to the shop to buy it, manage your finances (uh so hard when you descent to the real world from your carefree life so far!) and what more). So you forget to give and take some love. The main reason why two people got married out of love is lost or what in between these heavy responsibilities. 

       Can't you express love in between these responsibilities? It is not utterly impossible. It doesn't matter how many times the lover guy has told you about what he would do for you (like go to the end of the world and bring the moon for you). But can he offer to share these responsibilities with which you are struggling? Can he literally feed you? It feels good to be fed by someone (especially by the one whom you love so much (or probably loved so much before marriage?)). Even a small cup of tea offered to you without asking is a gesture of love. It is not as exotic as the moon from the end of the world, but is a realistic thing. It may not be a great thing to offer your wife, but it may actually make her happy! Similarly despite all those unrealistic promises of being an ideal wife (who will do God knows what to keep him happy!), if the wife actually offers support the guy who may be aiming at the moon but is not being able to reach even the bottom branch of a tree, even with a small word of encouragement (or even not throwing an insult at an unsuccessful husband), it is a real gesture of love. Understanding is the basis. Without understanding nothing works out. Not even a simple math problem can be solved without understanding. Forget the complicated (yet silly) problems of married life!! 

       And taking for granted that, since "I love him/her so deeply, I don't have to show some affection to him/her" after marriage is not correct. Everybody needs to be assured that they are loved. Remember how do you feel if your mother stops showing her affection to you? Or father stops showing affection to you? No matter of what age you are, you won't like it. Just because you have grown up doesn't mean that you don't deserve their affection. They know that too. Similarly, just because you have married after having a long romantic affair doesn't imply that you should not give assurances that they are loved. That may not even be like sitting 24X7 with them. It may be a phone call, an sms or even a miss call. (You used to do all these before marriage. Right?) You used to talk for hours over the phone when you were in love, then why can't you even spend 5 minutes talking to each other after marriage? That won't cause end of the world. Will it? Even friends need to be showed some care to assure them that you love them. So in a situation like a love marriage where two people come in with so many things about their "pre-marital relationship" in mind and high expectations due to it, some care should be shown. Not for the sake of a show off, but a genuine one (either way you'll understand what type it is). Otherwise you'll be living in the past thinking about that romantic person with whom you were in love and comparing them with the rude person who actually lives with you right now. And then because everybody needs some affectionate gesture, if they don't get it from the person from whom they expect it, they are bound to drift away from you, in turn creating rifts in this so called love marriage. Either you buckle up for no gestures and all that prejudices that after marriage, life has to be "full of responsibilities" (which is not nice) or you actually try reminding that "special person" that he/she is still special in your life (all these are valid if you believe in love, romance and blah blah blah). 

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          Near vs Far :  Yes. Near vs Far makes a lot of difference. Life is not an ideal love story that a person will stay forever in a long distance relation. Actually it will get boring after a while. The person whom you love can't be with you and you think about yourself and then start complaining about it and then finally it becomes such a problem that it can't be resolved by any means at all!!! 

I won't say that everybody who are going to marry should accept that one of the spouses (= the wife by default!) has to give up their career (just to be with their soul mate!). In this world it is absolutely not possible to stay together always. Especially when both of them have a career of their own choice. So practically it is always better to marry (elope with) a person from the exact same career. That will ensure proximity and longevity!!! (Just kidding.) If you really actually want to marry (elope) across careers then it will always be better if you can stay in the same place (which is a total impossibility). If you can't then you shouldn't cut away this relation just like that! After all you are two married people (who were once a pair of star crossed lovers)! If you do all these cut off the relation just like that deed, you are actually setting wrong examples to other lovers who may actually want to get married and may live together happily ever after. Even if that means you are setting the absolute "see I said so" examples for those who oppose love marriages strongly! That's not a fair act to those aspiring young lovers who are ready to be together in life!!!

       If by any chance careers don't offer proximity you should find some ways to keep the relation! Again just because you are far away from your parents doesn't mean that you'll ever forget them or cease loving them! A true love is also like that. Isn't it? Especially if the true lover has become a member of the family by something called marriage? You decided to accept them as a part of your life when you got married, so why throw them away just like that? A ship may travel through rocky waters, but that doesn't mean that you should abandon the ship (unless it threatens your life) thinking that it will sink. Who knows, if you stuck with it, it won't reach a beautiful shore one day? 24 X 7 proximity is not possible in any relation, but that doesn't mean that the relation has to be broken!! It can be maintained if the people involved appreciate the other person's aspirations and difficulties and are ready to make it work even from long distance. If you really want to be together for ever, you may have to endure some hardships in the beginning. 

        Getting married doesn't mean that you have to be together 24 X 7 to be in love still as you were before getting married!!! What the hell! Somehow or the other you'll find a way out to be together if you really want proximity! (But only if you think beyond the candy floss, romance level.) After all, your life experiences will give you the maturity and wisdom (to figure out practical solutions without forfeiting anybody's career) to do so. (If it doesn't, then there is no use calling yourself a late tweenager or a beginning thirtier.)  But one must have the patience to endure this non-proximity, be it a guy or a gal, till some solution is figured out. I mean people can wait. Right? If they really love each other that much? (Even arranged married people who didn't even have any love in between them previously do this, then why can't love married people do that?) 

      Bottom line is that maturity and wisdom are necessary in all kinds of marriages. Being in love with someone and day dreaming a happy life together is different from what one may face in that actual life together. But that doesn't mean that you can't make the real life happy. It definitely takes effort. What doesn't take effort in this world to achieve? But if you really really believe in love, that hardship will be nothing compared to the love for which you are taking that effort. Nobody leaves an exam midway if a 5 mark question seems to be difficult. What if the rest of the 45 marks 

questions were answerable and you didn't even try? 

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Of love, romance and weddings and break ups - Part I

       The title was supposed to be "of love, romance and weddings (which occur in heaven) and break ups (which bring hell upon people)". But it was too long to be written as a title. I apologize to anybody who has had romances and break ups in their lives, but I can't help writing this.
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     As the famous saying goes, weddings happen in heaven. let us rewind and observe the pre-wedding situation. Those weddings may be arranged by the family without any element of romance, or may be arranged by the family with the romantic element, or a totally irrational eloping defying all family. ;) Love or no love or eloping or no eloping, weddings are good if they last long as a mature relation with mutual respect and love and don't turn out to be disastrous.

     Let us leave arranged marriages for now, because if they turn out to be nasty, the one who is married can blame their parents and other family members who caused this "fix". But what if a love marriage fails? Who is to be blamed? The husband? The wife? What?

     I am not against love marriages, but if the love marriage doesn't have the strong basis of love and trust rather than being built upon stupid dreams and expectations, there is no point calling it a "love marriage". Somebody once told me about why love marriages break. It is like this, "while romancing, people hide all their imperfections and all and after marriage they all come out and cause problems"! That was a very mature thought. One instance of a love marriage being "the end" of love.

    But is this the only reason why love marriages fail? I guess no. I think such cases happen when the chisquare between expectation and reality is too much!! Expectations being

1) candy floss romance
2) fun filled life
3) always love (too many expressions of it in myriad ways)
4) no bothering about how to earn to live
5) always together
6) love me and me only

and so on...

And the realities :

1) not always possible to have a candy floss romance (again somebody said, bored and loving for the sake of love ; is that really love? Bah :/)
2) life with hardships to be dealt with
3) no expression of love at all (even if you want to)
4) have to eat and have the basic necessities of life
5) not always together
6) can't always love you and you only

and again so on...

    How will you ever get a decent chi square in this scenario? Never. So the marriage breaks!! How sad. There is a way around. That is called adjustment. It is not that people don't know about it. It is only that only women are taught about it. It would be nice if men also learn to adjust. After all if mutual adjustment can lead to a "happily ever after", it is worth trying out, rather than just ditching everything and walking away without even trying earnestly. But men should stop demanding that their wives adjust to their needs and their needs alone!! Take most of the examples of eloping and marriage, the girl runs away with her lover and marries him, and  then sits happily ever after at home to "look after him and his kids". But the truth is happily ever after lasts only for a few years. How long can a woman sit idly at home doing the same old chores, having to depend upon her husband (who obviously loves her; still...), while he is working to his heart's contend and rising up in career? Especially if the girl was so talented that everybody values her particular talent?

      Not being able to use one's talent and not get appreciation for it is really hard for anybody. Dreams are not only for men. But for women too. Why should marriage of any form be a hindrance to it? If the husband really loves his wife (as he used to before the marriage), he should appreciate this fact that a woman also has her needs, outside of the family. That is the need to prove herself and having a loving husband who earns enough to feed her and her children cannot satisfy that need.
If a girl/woman makes enormous amount of sacrifice by suppressing that need for the sake of a marriage and the one for whom she has made it never appreciates it, she is bound to get bored. One day or the other that need gets better of love and one has to leave if the "love" turns out to be too restraining.

      I don't understand why men have to be so immature. In most of the cases this immaturity is the one which causes problems. Marrying a girl whom they love is like winning some prize for such guys! And the prize surely has to be "kept" in a showcase. "It" is not supposed to have a life of its own, interests of "its" own and has to be "taken care of". What if the "prize" doesn't want to be a showcase piece and has "her" own interests and opinions and doesn't want to be taken care of? Does that still mean that she is not lovable? When the guys say "she has to sit at home and love me and me alone", they are being very selfish. She should not go to work, because I am earning, so no need for her to work (this is not only in love marriage, applies to arranged marriages too where the guy, guy's family also tells exactly this).

        Working is not only about earning money. Yes, one person earning too much money may seem sufficient. But two people earning money is better, even if the second source of income is not as high as the first!!! Plus it is not only about earning money or having a white collar job. It is about the identity of the woman. Who is she besides being her father's daughter or husband's wife or son's mother? She is herself. Right? And there is nothing shameful in being known as the daughter's father (surely fathers do take pride in it) or a wife's husband or a mother's son or daughter. But the husband's mostly get offended (again both in L and A marriages) in being known by his wife (which is fed into the hearts of the people even in application forms; take for example an application form for a national level exam. The candidate is asked to fill up the name of his father/ mother (that too if the father is not alive!) and "husband". Why can't a male candidate be asked to fill his wife's name if a female candidate should fill her husband's name? Not fair. To think that it the application form for a national level qualifying test ( I am not telling which one) makes me ashamed of the extend of nasty patriarchy prevalent in this country!!!). Even if he is an unemployed fool who is dependent on the wife for a living, he is deemed as "the best man in the world". Crap. :X

       Yes there it feels good to be known as somebody's somebody in many circles. But where is the fun? For example, I feel good to be known as parents' daughter. But I feel better when I am known for who/what I am rather than bask in the glory of my parents'. Same goes in  marriage too. No matter how talented the husband is, the wife does want to be known as herself (unless she is somebody who doesn't have any goals in life and expect to be taken care of by somebody thus feeding to the agony of those women who want to achieve something in life). Any woman knows what to do with her life or what she has to do in her life wants this. And those husbands for whom she was ready to make amendments in her life must understand this, rather than making her suppress her urge to do something worthwhile in her life rather than "doing new things in kitchen...."  for him (as the lyrics of a fairly new song suggests, which is totally sexist; the only compensation is that the other language version of the same song has a very non-sexist lyrics! By the way another song in the same movie tells you that you'll be remembered for what you do. So all ladies who want to be really remembered by the human race, follow your dreams, how hard they may be.) Otherwise after a while the bored woman will definitely break free and then you go on a spree to blame the woman directly or indirectly in the name of family. (Even then these men forget what they have demanded from the poor woman!!!)  This is the main cause of break up.

       In this country there are so many atrocities happening against women. Instead of creating a society safe for women, if you don't let women come out of the house (by making excuses that you are protecting them, in turn harming her in many other ways), you are becoming a part of weakening women deliberately. If you can't let go of your ego and let the woman be a free being even after marriage (for marriage is not a prison), better not dream about "owning" that woman! One cannot be immature and demand that everybody around him be mature or adjust to him. That's not a fair game at all from any angle. One can't do one thing in life and go out and tell the whole world to liberate the female spirit. Unless you are ready to do that yourself, you better not "love" and "own" a woman. For true love is not the woman sitting at home, it can also be the man understanding the woman who doesn't complain without her telling him that she has a fire inside her and not chaining her for his selfishness.

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More to come....


   

     

     

   


       

The Woman I am

The women I am,
Is both known and unknown to me.
I surprise myself at times,
Fail myself at others.
Yet I am my best friend,
My secret keeper, keeper of my dreams.
I dream with eyes open,
About new horizons to reach.

The woman I am,
Is misunderstood,
And never understood, by anybody
Other than me.
The woman I am is abused,
Verbally, mentally, socially,
Everyday, on streets, in love, in family.
Yet I strive, I live to show,
That nothing can really affect me.
Nothing really matters, neither does anybody;
As long as I have my company,
Myself to guide me and my own
Dreams to fulfill.

My life is mine only and I am the master of it.
The woman I am is independent,
Believes in fair play and truthfulness;
In every walk of life.

The woman I am loves,
But is never loved back.
But who cares as long as I have
Enough love within me to love myself?

The woman I am, has a child inside;
A child who dreamt of walking on clouds
In the vast ble sky;
The child who wanted to explore the world,
The universe.
The child who loved stars and saluted the moon,
Who enjoyed moonlight streaming through her window.
The child who admired darkness and silence,
To learn how to admire lights and sounds.

The woman I am, has a girl inside,
Who would fight back from anything,
Who was determined to forge a path for herself.
The girl who made dreams come true.
The girl who gave herself courage in the face of adversities.

The woman I am has a woman in me,
Who grew up from a child who loved children,
To a woman who loves children;
Anything about them and their company.

The woman I am is unsure of many things.
But life must go on.
When I look at myself, I see
A child, a girl and a woman all at once.
But the dreams are the same,
Aspirations same and realities the same.

The woman I am is the one;
And only one who doesn't judge,
Who doesn't hurt, who has always been there,
Through thick and thin and will always be there
Till the end, with me!

Dreams...

Some dreams are like soap bubbles,

Colourful and transient. 

Rising up in the air 

Only to to break.

Still we dream,

Living in soap bubbles.

Anticipating them not to break.

Shouldn't we tell or hearts to wake up

From the sweet dreams they are dreaming,

Beautiful but impossible, 

To the staring realities

Harsh and painful?

But we hold on to them,

Refusing to open our eyes, 

Knowing, one day or the other, 

The heart is going to break.

Let it break, break into a thousand pieces,

We can pick the pieces and mold it again

Into something even stronger and beautiful

Which can dream even better,

Dreams for real. 

In the land of Pagodas - Part III - The Great Wall

          If you have ever wished for anything very earnestly, with an innocent heart, it is sure to come true some time or the other in your life.  The trip to Great Wall was one such experience for me the other being the one to Shantiniketan.  The trip was organised as part of the school on the Sunday during the school. If we would go to the Great Wall or not depended on the weather but we wentto the Great Wall anyway. :)
       
          We started after the breakfast in two groups. The journey was a pleasant one. It took more than 45 minutes to reach the Great Wall. On the way it was raining. Scenic places appeared through sheets of rain. A canal with trees on either sides was an unforgettable one. The part of Great Wall we went to is the Mutianyu Great Wall.
   
           Finally we reached our destination, i.e the entrance to the Great wall. When I say entrance it is a flight of steps which you have to climb to reach the Great Wall. After all it is built on top of a mountain. :) So after getting the tickets from our guide (who was carrying a guiding flag perched on top of her umbrella), we started the ascent with the instructions to be back to the base within an hour. I can call it only an ascent since we were literally climbing up the whole mountain!

           Here I have to mention what all I was carrying. My backpack with almost three bottles of water + my purse + my camera. So the camera happens to be a half kg one with an almost 300 g of lens attached to it. And obviously being a tourist I had to take photos and put it on my neck as all aspiring photographers do (let me take the privilege of calling myself a photographer). And we began our climb.
 
         There were neatly cut steps to climb the mountain and these steps are probably centuries old. On our right was the valley side and all the resting places were on the left. There were steps, steps and steps. I started climbing enthusiastically and by after thirty steps I started panting. And ofcourse I have to mention my footware and jeans. In view of the Great Wall climbing I should have taken my shoes which I forgot to in the last minute packing and was wearing a very fancy Bata footwear. Luckily all through my visit in Beijing it didn't break. :) On that day I wore a jeans which I don't prefer to wear on other days at all, and this particular jeans which was restricting my motion on account of being skinny ( I realised this fact after a long time!). So along with my own natural exhaustion, the bag, the jeans and the camera on my neck were adding to my difficulty in climbing.

         And I literally fell back int he group and joined the group which was coming after us. I dont remember how many people waited for me to get a breath, earnest thanks to all of them for being very kind. So my group partner who happened to be in the latter group with which we merged offered to carry my camera. Thanks to him. And then after some more flight of stairs my comrade offered to carry my bag. This bag was carried by another of my friend later.Thanks to her too. She was also having difficulty climbing, but she was very determined to climb. It was an extremely tedious climb. But I too got determined. Then I realised why out guide had told us that those who climb the Great Wall are heros! It takes that much effort to reach there.

           I can still taste the salt on my face. :) On the way we reached a place were there were some fallen branches. I broke a long staff from a branch and used it as my support. The rest of the way i supported myself on this staff. When I was making this staff for me a grandma passed us. She might have been 90 years. There I was young, but struggling to climb the mountain and there the granny was who was walking breezily as if this was all a child's play for her!! :)

          Finally sweating  and with reddened faces (I couldn't see myself, but I am sure that I was red too) we reached our destination, the Great Wall!!! We climbed another small set of stairs to the wall. I had never imagined that it would be as difficult to walk on the Great Wall as it was to climb to it. We entered as roofed portion where sweet/cool drinks vendors were sitting. After the climb after seeing them I started wondering how they manage to climb up ad down everyday! (And also thought that if I were a candy vendor on Great Wall who climbed the mountain everyday, I would be thin and healthy. ;) )

         On reaching the destination, I took all my possessions back from the people who had kindly took them for me and started the photographic pursuit. Carrying a three quarter kg camera was not a bad idea at all. :) When I look at the photos I was able to capture there, I feel happy. :) We started walking there. As I had mentioned, it is difficult to walk on the Great Wall. Since the wall is built all the way on top of the mountain, it rises and falls accordingly. And then there are steps again. Not the usual high ones only, but the low thin steps which looked from far away seem to be part of the floor. On the way a group of tourists from some other country crossed us. A guy in the group said "Namaste" to us. :) Yup there was a "Namaste" also on top of the Great Wall. This was the result of the salwar, which was just the trailer of what was to come the next Saturday. :)
   
        I also saw photographers with more than 1kg cameras on the top. Nobody can miss the chance to photograph the only man made structure visible from the moon. :)  I wanted to experiment running and walking on the wall in different ways, but didn't have the courage to do so with the 0.75kg cam hanging on my neck. If I ever get another chance to go back there I do want to walk freely. We climbed another roofed structure and spent some time there. There was a cute child who was looking curiously at my staff. Infact most of the people were looking at that staff!! :) But it was fun holding that staff. It was as I would imagine as a five or ten year old. I had embarked upon a great journey across the mountain and walking with a staff in my hand. I don't remember where I picked up this image, but it is one of the images which was dear to me as a kid.

      Then we all looked at our watches and realised that the time given to us was almost over. We had to go down. Should we trek back or should we take the rope way was the question. Finally the deadline set by the travel guide won and we decided to take the cable cars back to the foot of the mountain. This was my first experience of travelling in a cable car and I was to speak honestly, scared. Everything happened so suddenly that all I can remember is standing in a line and then ushered forward with DJ to stand at a point where we were given fast instructions to sit as soon as the car came behind us. The cable moves at a constant rate and you just have to sit, and the people in charge will put the cross bar with a T on the bottom which you have to hold with your feet. It all happened in a flurry and after that there was silence. I was almost more than 1 km up in the open air! Sitting on a car with horizontal bars! One wrong move and things will fall down! DJ was very relaxed. She had taken cable cars before. I took one photo and kept the camera in the bag. Somehow I felt that I should keep the lens cover away from my hand for fear of losing it. Now I feel that it was a good decision. Had I taken photos then I would never have taken in my surroundings clearly.

      I looked down and saw my slipper. What if the thing fell down? So I decided not to move. What about the pounding heart? I told myself not to get scared. DJ was photographing and taking video. From behind I heard yells from our companions telling that they were scared. I screamed and said "even I am!". That was fun. And my staff which was coming with one of our companions behind, fell down into the jungle deep down. I passed tree tops, I tried to touch one. There was lush green forest beneath us. And the cable car moved silently to the valley. I can't express the feeling I had in words. It has to be experienced. Those moments of silence were some of the best moments I ever had. Ofcourse I was anxious. Still I enjoyed the anxious silence. On the way I saw one of the students from the school travelling on a chute way from up the mountain. I smiled at him and watched him slide down silently along the mountain. I imagined myself travelling down the chute and decided that cable car was better at that moment. And reminded myself of the ad "darr ke aage jeet hai".

        We glided down and down. The whole valley could be seen. Slowly sounds started coming back. We were nearing the valley. And then suddenly we reached the disembarking point and were ushered out of the car. Then everybody came behind us. We climbed some stairs and two men in red gown with swords appeared before us! We didn't know what was happening. Apparently they were posing for photos or something.

          We didn't do any shopping there for lack of time. There were many interesting shops, with interesting things, but we went on. On the way back to the bus I noticed the T-shirts hung in the shops. They said "I climbed Great Wall!" :) In the bus people including me posed with a "V" for being happy about climbing the Great Wall. Then we started and I bid goodbye to the great wonder.
We stopped on the way for lunch, which was very tasty. I don't know if it was the exhaustion from climbing which made the whole lunch tasty or the fact that the food was actually tasty, it was very enjoyable.
 
         We had planned to go around the town where we were staying, but cancelled it since everybody was exhausted. We returned to the resort and I had a nice and refreshing bath and fell asleep immediately. Did my dreams revolve around the Great Wall?
 
       I still can't believe I climbed the Great Wall that day. I still can't control my excitement. Who can; when one of your innocent childhood dreams has come true? :)


       

           
       

In the land of Pagodas - Part II

"We will be landing shortly in Hong Kong." I heard as I woke up suddenly from my sleep. I still don't know what or who had waken me up. I pushed my seat back and sat in the seat. According to the instructions, I drew up the window blinds. The sight I saw as I looked down cannot be explained in words!!! It was like heaven! White sunlight streaming down to blue waters which gleamed silver.
And there were islands, mountains and clouds!!! I could barely believe what I was seeing!

We were nearing Hong Kong. "The local time is 8am." I looked at my watch. It was 5.30 on it!! "Oh the time zone has changed" I thought. I had slept only for 5 hours! I adjusted my watch to match the local timing. Suddenly I skipped two and a half hours!

 The flight landed at the Hong Kong airport. It is a beautiful airport, with the ocean around it. :)
We got out of the flight and started. Again those long walks in the airport. And I saw the sign for passengers with boarding passes asking them to go one way. But we didn't have boarding passes. That meant we had to check in.

Somebody told (I actually don't remember the correct sequence of events now!!) that we have to take the train to go out! Train? In the airport!! At first we all got confused. Now all I remember well is this. We walked upto somewhere and one of us parted to inquire something and disappeared in the crowd! Three of us went ahead and found another inquiry counter. There started our tryst with "no English" or different English! I went up to a counter and told her that I couldn't find our companion. She didn't understand anything at first because I spoke too fast for her (nobody can be blamed because I myself have my Indian accent!) and then I had to repeat three to four time, by the times she had started looking frustrated. Luckily for us, our companion appeared out of nowhere (love you DJ :) ) and we started the inquiry for the immigration. Another official helped us find the forms and directed though there was barely any language spoken! :) But all the people were helpful. :) And we found the counter and got the temporary sanction to get out the airport to collect our luggage and check back in!

I think we caught the train after that. We went and took the subway (beginning of the subway story :) ) to the terminal and found staff who directed us to baggage belts. We found our luggage went to Terminal 1. In between I had seen a board saying "to ferries". A slight wish to travel in a ferry crossed my mind.

Then at terminal 1 we went in for check in. Till then Palam had been big. Hong Kong was bigger now! :) For the first time, I switched my mobile on! There was range! Hail Airtel! I sent a message home. :)
we checked in and got the boarding passes and went in for the security check. I had lots of water with me which was not allowed inside. So so as not to get my bottle thrown away I made everybody drink all of it!! :D  We got confused at the queue  where to enter! DJ's poster holder was found to exceed the allowed size! So both Dj and my comrade went to check it in the over sized luggage. After all these we entered the queue. Everything had to be put in; as usual; now people were putting belts too!!! So I had to remove the belt!!! I wanted to clarify something with somebody and asked an elderly man in the queue. He said "no English" and smiled! :) Finally we got checked in and all and went to search for the gates and obviously a wash room! :) We had plenty of time since out flight was only in the afternoon.

Finally we found our gates and refreshed and started our wait. We all switched on our wi-fis. :) Free wi-fi in airport! Aha! What a relief! After all we were not cut off from the rest of the world! And obviously everybody started to send messages and mails on fb and gmail. :) The wait continued till our flight was announced. While waiting we took photos. The view from there is beautiful. If this was so beautiful one can imagine how beautiful Hong King is! And I saw a photo ( I don't remember if it was the ad of a camera) which made me feel again that it is heaven!!! :)
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We boarded the flight. The meal time arrived and the "vegetarian meal" which was pre-booked came! Here started the tryst with "no fish, no egg, no meat" (ofcourse I have no problem with egg and fish, but for my friends). There were some suspiciously meaty looking stuff which was told as tofu but my friend didn't believe. And there were spinach and shrimp (shrimp :) ) too. And I kept all the suspicious stuff away and ate the rest of the food (i.e rice and vegetables) since I was hungry.

I tried to get some sleep, but couldn't sleep. My mind was pre-occupied with all the forms those had to be filled, for the air hostess had distributed the forms. Somehow I tried to fill them. Forms make me nervous for some reason!

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We were landing. And I saw the city of Beijing beneath! :) Everything neatly arranged in rows. :) And then we landed. (Somehow I feel that Beijing airport is designed like a dragon .) And again the run for immigration and stuff. We waited patiently until all our formalities were finished and went out. The impression the airport leaves on you  is "awesome"! Now Hong Kong airport seemed to be smaller. Here again we had to take the train to go out. So we started with our train journey which seemed quite long. Then we arrived at the exit point and went out to get the luggage. There were some 100 belts (I actually again don't remember the exact number)! And finally we found our belt and waited. I saw cute suitcases with flowery prints and bright colors. After waiting for sometime our colorless luggage came and we collected them. (This is when we cursed ourselves for buying all those books!)  Next we had to get Yuan. We went to the forex and got the money converted!  I looked at Yuan. It looked very strange to me. Whenever I had seen a foreign currency back in India I had looked at it with curiosity. Now as the "owner" of some amount in a foreign currency felt a bit strange!!! I had rupees with me along with some dollars too. The whole concept of money seemed very weird at the moment, because Yuan would be the only valid thing for me until I stayed, no matter how many other currencies I had with me.

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We came out after another round of confirmation security and I spotted the student with "INSS" notice waiting in the crowd of "receivers" to pick us up. We went with him and we were asked to wait sometime. Then we met another student who was in charge of receiving students and we all started teaching each other our names. While waiting, more people arrived, we started talking and getting acquainted with one another.  Now we should keep in mind the second student who met us. He was to become my tutorial partner later. :D So finally we had to get out of the terminal. So we took the lift since there were so many people in the group and even more luggage! First we went to a floor waited there and then realized that we had to go to another floor. But then there too we had to go back to the second floor where we had been waiting initially. We climbed up and down some 4 times in the lift and by the end of it, I was on the verge of laughing. :D  It was so funny (imagine a bunch of people going up and down with all their luggage and so on and still not being able to figure out where to go ultimately! :D ) Finally we understood where we should be heading to and the person who had to pick us up all, came along and guided us to another lift far away out from this terminal. :) I remember that it was a long walk and we ended up in a basement. It was not a mere basement! It was a huge basement for parking vehicles! It reminded me of all the other language movies I used to watch in our university film festivals. Suddenly I felt that I was in one such movie. It also reminded me of thriller movies!!! (Somehow basements and empty railway stations remind me of thrillers (consequence of watching too many movies!! :) )). I even considered the prospect of shooting a thriller movie there. ;)

Finally we dumped all our luggage in the cars and got in. My comrade and I got into one and the other two in another. I got the front seat! And I was sitting on the right with the driver's seat on the left! :) Again it felt a bit weird. :) And we started our journey. We got out of the airport and started our journey to the resort where the school was to be held. All the highways were impressive. And clean. I tried to enjoy the scenic beauty but sleep was slowly catching up. At one point when we were about to take a wrong turn, the person who was driving, used the gps to find the way. We reached the resort pretty soon. :)

 Then we registered and got instructions and room keys and all. I was so tired and my head had started pounding. I could barely see anything. All I wanted to do was to bathe and sleep. I wasn't even hungry anymore. After reaching our room which my comrade and I shared, I took bath and slumped onto the cozy bed. I didn't wanted dinner. All I wanted was sleep. I still couldn't believe I was in China. It all felt surreal. And with the surreal feeling hovering in my mind, I slept a dreamless sleep.
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In the land of pagodas - Part 1

Another experience is pending. But this one was so exciting that I can't contain it anymore and feel like I should share it.

Plainly speaking this is about my visit to China. :) But in not so plain words it is about my first journey out of my country; from Asia to Asia ; to the magnificent land of the scarlet silk. 

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 The journey was for academic purpose, to attend the school on the particle being searched and studied by people all over the world, of which I too am a part of! And then came the conference which was a sweet twist in the tale. :) 

 Keeping the record of my name disappearing from any list in any of the schools or conferences, I was expecting nothing when I suddenly got a letter from the organizers that I am selected to attend the school! Then started all the paper works and stuff which commenced exactly on my birthday and ended (only a part of it) on July 31st with the coming of my visa. To have the visa application with you for 2 weeks and to have the feeling that nothing is happening and not being able to send it because something or the other comes up, is a bit too much! And the visa comes on a day with only four days left till the commencement of the supposed journey!!! 

Thus the person who always do "systematic packing" and panicking even for a domestic travel started packing her stuff on the eve of her first international travel!! I wonder what would have been my state had my friend not helped me with all my packing. :)  How can I ever forget the last minute rushes done on the Saturday called 3rd August, including printing a poster and buying a holder for it which I would never have done otherwise!

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Somebody had told me to bring somethings the moment he heard that I was going to China. He needed things which made weird sounds!! This has to be kept in mind for further reading.

I started from here, my friend made me breakfast and my parents came to see me off at the airport after picking up my comrade for the journey from her flat. At the airport, we took the Chennai Delhi flight, to reach there by 13.30 and sit in the airport for the rest of the time.

The aircraft was luxurious for a domestic flight!!! And what more I got to watch the movie  which I had been longing to watch for a long time! 

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We reached Delhi airport by 13.30.  Now immigration had to be done. My comrade and I went up to the counter and found out that it could be done atmost three hours before the journey. "Now what" was the question. We thought about many options. And decided that we would stay inside the airport (there begins the parallel saga of airports!) So we started the old hobby! Shopping!! But before that we had to eat something.What to eat? We saw a South Indian Restaurant "Vaango"! We thought about eating dosa then decided against it and had some coffee and snacks instead. 

Finally shopping had to be done. We went to the sole book store we found and started searching. Searching, searching, searching...... We bought books too. Who imagined that we would later curse these and the other books we had carried greedily hoping to "finish reading" while travelling! 

Then we went to the visitors launch and sat there. It is exactly like we are refugees. But only high class refugees sitting in less crowded, neat airports. There we found a girl. She was looking at us, we looked at her. On one look itself it became evident that she was a Malayali and the other look told me that she was from Kottayam!!! :) She came to us and talked. Everything was right. She was flying to Canada and she was a nurse (one of the looks had told me that too). 

Then we waited again, for our flight to Hong Kong was only at 11.30 pm. Our other two friends were to come with us, the four of us travelling together. At around 5.30 DJ called and said that she would come by 8pm or so. We waited for her and she arrived with life saving cakes for us. :) We checked in, sent our luggage and entered the real Terminal 3(oh! haan I forgot the poster holder was there always and it was as if it was a fellow passenger in this whole journey)! I was overwhelmed!!! I had already been overwhelmed by the capital airport on arrival there! Various "mudras" are sculptured there. I couldn't figure out the meaning of it and missed taking a photo of it. 

The check in counters themselves were overwhelming with all the beautiful decorations and lighting. All the shops in Terminal 3 are also overwhelming. :) We went to the food court and had dinner and waited for our other friend. He was to come from Mumbai to Delhi. Again waiting. And roaming around in search of a footwear shop to get a shoe. 

The story of the shoe is like this. I had a slipper which I doubted would break down on trekking since it was known that we would be going to the Great Wall. Having no light shoes, I wanted to get one and forgot about it in the last second rush. So I though that I would get one somewhere on the way and all the "somewheres on the way" were airports and hence the search for the shop! Surprisingly I couldn't find a footwear shop in the international terminal!!! (There are quite a few in the domestic, but not even a single one in the IT!) Every other kinds of things are there! Including a mannequin wearing a beautiful gown made of newspapers (not for sale)!!!

We found a beautiful shop. The thing which attracted us to it was a man (boy/Krishna may be) carved beautifully out of wood and dressed up nicely too. The decorations in the shop were all tricoloured for Independence day was approaching. We roamed around from one shop to the other and so on to come back and wait again for our flight.

And thus came the call for our flight. Our friend from Mumbai was nowhere to be seen. Had he come or not? We went to board the flight. Luckily he had reached in time. All the three girls' ticket were upgraded to business class for some reason!!! And the class reminded of the travel in Duranto. ;) Pampering with food!!! (Duranto was a bit too much!!! :D)  

Before we took off I had  recommended everybody I phoned, to come to Palam airport atleast once. :)   

We ate dinner, I pulled the seat flat and lay down and slept. The day was very tiring and without rest. 

Thus began my first journey abroad.

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